Final Embrace
by VDStar
Summary: **Spoilers for Season 6 Finale!*** A look at the days following the fateful events of the finale. What state is Jax in? Will he live up to the promises he made for his family? Will he find out who was behind the life-changing events?
1. Prologue

Spoiler Alert! Do not continue if you have not watched the season finale of "Sons of Anarchy". All characters belong to Kurt Sutter, and are being borrowed so I can attempt to make sense of what was done with them.

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**Final Embrace**

The wail of the siren pierced the otherwise quiet night in Charming. Chibs looked up from where he was rocking young Thomas in his carrier, his eyes on the store front windows, expecting to see the flashing lights race down main street. Frowning when the anticipated image didn't appear he turned his eyes to the clock on the wall behind the ice cream counter, his frown deepening as he noted the sirens seemed to be fading away from the main part of town, heading towards the residential section.

"Tara's late." He says in an undertone, not wanting to draw Abel's attention away from his game with Chucky.

At Chibs' quiet words, Bobby turned his attention from Abel and Chucky to the clock. He remained silent, a frown forming on his face.

"Could something have happened?" Tig asked, joining the other two men. He reached out to tickle Thomas, his face grave as he looked over the other members. "Think she didn't want to take the deal and split?"

"No." Bobby said instantly. "She wouldn't leave without the boys, besides this is her and Jax's plan, she wouldn't bail now."

With worry obvious on his face Chibs stood and looked at Bobby.

"We should go."

Bobby nodded his agreement, as the men's movement caught Happy's attention.

"You want me with you brother?" He asked coming to his feet.

"No, you stay here with Chucky and the boys, in case Tara comes by." Bobby ordered, pointing to Rat indicating that he remain at the shop as well.

The three men left the shop and climbed onto their bikes, revving the engines before peeling out onto the road.

As they left Main Street further behind and drew closer to Jax's neighborhood, none of the men could ignore the fact that the sounds of the sirens got louder. As they pulled into Jax's neighborhood their worry intensified at the sight of the flashing lights.

The street was crowded with police vehicles, ambulances, and unmarked government cars. The guys pulled their bikes over down the street, each stopping a moment to take in the reality of the flashing lights being centered in front of Jax's house.

Worry for their leader made them hurry down the street, pushing past cops and ATF agents, ignoring the CSI team already spreading yellow tape as they made their way inside. Chibs was the first through the door, shoving cops out of the way, ignoring their yells for him to stop.

He pushed his way into the kitchen, stopping short at the scene that was before him, he could barely put any words together, tears already clogging his throat as he slowly dropped to his knees.

"Oh no. Oh Jackie. No."

Jax sat curled against the kitchen cabinets, Tara's body held tightly in his arms. Tears streamed down his face as he continued to brokenly murmur "I'm sorry" as he rocked her, all the people crowding his kitchen, their bodies moving around him were just a blur, all he could see was his love, his life, all he could feel was her skin already beginning to cool no matter how tightly he held her.

"Jackie." Having dragged himself back to his feet, Chibs, with Bobby and Tig at his side made their way to Jax. Bobby reached out a hand to the younger man, who flinched at the contact and pulled Tara more tightly to his chest.

"Jax." Bobby began. "I am so sorry." He finished, each word drawn out in his shock.

Jax buried his head into Tara's neck, as if the sheer force of his will, of his pain would bring her back to him. The three bikers stepped back, unsure of what to do in the face of Jax's refusal to accept their comfort.

The DA returned to the kitchen after having spoken with the deputy sheriff about what she and the ATF agents had walked in on. The scene in the kitchen was much the same as she had left; Teller still remained on the floor, his wife in his arms as his club members looked on. Patterson didn't think Teller was at fault for the murders; even if he had it in him to kill Tara, he wouldn't be stupid enough to stay at the scene. Even she could see that this was a response to horror witness, not horror caused. As she looked over the young mother's face she shouldn't help the small shudder that passed through her, what evil would so callously take away the mother of two small children? She shook her head at all the twists and turns this case had taken, her mind already moving forward, trying to identify her next maneuver in the battle of trying to bring those at fault for the senseless murder of the innocent school children to justice.

As the police moved around the kitchen making their notes, they half-heartedly attempted to get Chibs, Bobby, and Tig to leave, silence was the men's only response, as they shifted to stand behind the table, out of the way of the investigators, but still near Jax. Jax remained with Tara, any words requesting that he move, fell on deaf ears.

As the evening moved on the investigators circled around the kitchen, bagging evidence, taking pictures, making notations. Once they finished the coroner was finally allowed to enter the house. Being a local, the man momentarily stopped at the threshold to the kitchen, shocked to see the leader of the town's biker gang brought so low. He and his assistant moved to the sheriff's body first, carefully turning him over and lifting him onto the stretcher to bring him out to the waiting van. With Charming being such a small town, a second vehicle needed to be brought in from Lodi for the second body. The coroner guided the stretcher to the van from Lodi, he knew in the scheme of things it meant nothing, but Teller's wife was a part of this town, it only seemed right that she be transported in the town's vehicle.

The men loaded Roosevelt's body into the van, slamming the door shut and gesturing for the men from Lodi to go on ahead of them.

"Prepare yourself." He said as he led his assistant back into the house, readily noting the police officers that fell into step with them.

"For what?"

"You don't know who that is in there do you?"

"The bikers?"

The coroner shook his head at the other man's lack of knowledge of how this town worked as he looked towards the house.

"This is Jackson Teller's house." He took a breath and turned back to the other man. "The woman inside is his wife, Tara Knowles. He won't be giving her up easily."

Jax sat on the floor, Tara in his arms, his head back against the cabinet. His earlier sobs have since faded into the silent tears that streamed down his cheeks. He blearily noted the men in white jackets taking Roosevelt's body away. At their actions, he instinctively tightened his grip on Tara. He stared ahead of him, his eyes seeing nothing as his mind was filled with memories of Tara. He felt regret pierce his heart, all the opportunities to give her a future, all the things he still wanted to say, still wanted to do, all the hopes and dreams for their future together, the wish for a little girl of their own to break the cycle, all gone in an instant.

Jax was vaguely aware of someone saying his name, he blinked a couple of times, tilting his head up to try to focus on the words coming from the figure in front of him.

"We need to take her now Mr. Teller." The figure was saying.

Jax shook his head in denial, 'who the fuck did that guy think he was?'. Tara was his, she belonged with him, in his arms, no one was taking her away from him.

He felt Tara start to slide from his grasp, "No!" he yelled, desperately clutching at her with one hand as he blindly swung out a fist with the other. Suddenly the room was full again as the guys returned to his side and the police closed in, preparing to, if needed, physically subdue the grieving husband.

"You have to let her go Jackie." Chibs' voice cut through the din as an arm reached out across him and pried his fingers from Tara's arm. "You have to let her go." Chibs repeated as he and Bobby on the other side of Jax each took an arm. Jax fought against them, crying out as his arm slid out from under Tara, losing contact with her skin. He tried desperately to lash out at his brothers, the cops, anyone who tried to take Tara from him, but his grief made him too weak to overcome the force of his friends holding him back. As the coroner and his assistant pulled Tara away from Jax before lifting her onto the stretcher. Jax fought harder, screaming "No" over and over again, trying desperately to break off the other men's hold, his only thought to stay with Tara.

Tig joined to help Bobby as all three held the struggling Jax back as straps were moved over Tara's body. As soon as the room was cleared, Jax stopped fighting the grip of the other men and slumped down. The only sound in the room, the harsh rasp of his breath moving through a throat rubbed raw by his cries.

The coroner and his assistance loaded the second van before beginning their drive through town. They moved quickly through the quiet streets. The coroner sat in the passenger seat, lost in thought as they passed by buildings, he felt a shiver across the back of his neck as he noted the bright lights in the interior of the ice cream shop, he caught a glimpse of the people inside, two men playing with a little boy, the third sitting off to the side, rocking a carrier.

The drive continued in silence, and the coroner sat up straighter in his seat as they pulled within sight of St. Thomas hospital, shaking his head at the cruel irony of the world.

Slowly the house began to empty out of police officers and other personnel. Tig looked out the window, noting the departing police cars and coroner van, focusing on the lone police car that remained at the house, to make sure no one else tried to enter the crime scene. Bobby moved to the kitchen table, sitting down heavily as he pulled out his phone to let Happy know that they were going to be awhile, and to call everyone to the clubhouse and that he'd fill them all in later. This wasn't something he could tell the rest of the club over the phone.

Chibs lowered himself to sit on the floor next to Jax, feeling bile rise in the back of his throat as he noted the blood that covered Jax's hands and clothes and the floor around him, Tara's blood. He rested a hand lightly on the younger man's shoulder, offering silent comfort and support.

Jax looked to Chibs, his friend, someone he could always count on to have his back.

"What do I do?"

Chibs heart broke at Jax's words, he fought back tears of his own as he looked into the other man's eyes. His mind moved to his own wife, what he would do if that had been her laying there instead of Tara. Knowing that he couldn't even begin to offer an answer, Chibs silently pulled Jax into his arms, rocking him as he would a child as Jax's sobs began anew.

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**Author's Note: ** I can't even begin to get into my feelings about what happened to this couple during the finale. All I can do at this point, is make sure that even if the show jumps ahead and we the fans don't get to see Jax mourning, Tara's funeral, etc, well then I'm making sure to at least try to come up with something to give us all that. This began as a one-shot, but it was starting to feel too rushed trying to fit it all in, so I'm giving it a couple of chapters, enough to cover the week or so after this, and we'll see where it goes from there.


	2. Chapter 1

The four men spent most of the night at Jax's, only returning to the ice cream shop as dawn began to show on the horizon. Tig was sent on ahead, to explain to the guys what had happened. When the others arrived, the MC was already grouped together in the shop, waiting for what the next call was going to be. Jax remained silent as he dropped into a booth at the back of the shop. Bobby gathered the rest of the guys close, outlining directions for different supplies they would need. As Bobby spoke, Happy turned to look towards Jax who had slumped down, staring at the scarred table, while Rat swallowed slowly, tears forming in his eyes, as he glanced back and forth between Jax and Bobby. The group split up, Montez and West to their bikes; Rat and Happy to the van.

They drove the van in silence back to Jax's house, the only words exchanged throughout the whole errand were when they explained to the cop outside the house that they were there to pick up clothes for Jax and the kids. They crossed the threshold of the front door quickly, only looking to their right. Their gazes dropped to the suitcases that sat abandoned in the hallway. Happy kneeled down, unzipping each, quickly identifying the one with the children's clothes before carefully setting the other aside. Rat continued past him, moving down the hall towards the master bedroom. He found the duffel bag on the floor next to the bed and going to the drawers filled it with clothes for Jax. As he made his way back he dropped the duffel by the front door and moved across towards the kitchen. His gaze slowly moved around the room, taking in the carnage as he said a silent prayer for the doctor, before turning to pick up the bag and meet Happy at the van.

Happy and Rat returned to the shop a couple of hours later. They noted West and Montez had already returned as they pulled into a spot across the street from the shop. Bobby had already sent out word to the other charters alerting them to the events of the evening before and to be on guard. None of the other crews they dealt with would go after the wife of a member, this attack was unexplainable, and in that even more dangerous. Chucky and Brooke stopped by at different times, but Bobby sent them both away, Chucky back to Teller-Morrow and Brooke home for the day. Jax remained in the booth watching Abel across from him playing with toys, Thomas in his arms. Chibs sat at the counter, keeping a watchful eye over them as Tig leaned against the front window.

"Boys are back." Tig said straightening up.

"Took them long enough." Bobby muttered.

"Juice too." Tig added, noting the third figure trailing behind Happy and Rat.

"Where the hell has he been?" Bobby ground out.

Tig held the door open for Happy and Rat as they brought in the suitcase and duffel. They turned back to the van, Juice clearly aiming to follow as Chibs caught him by the arm to hold him back.

"Where have you been?" He asked, noting Juice's eyes move around the room, quickly moving on as he passed over Jax.

"I was looking for Gemma."

"Gemma." Bobby breathed out in realization that someone would have to tell Gemma what happened.

"She's okay, Unser took her home." He fidgeted a bit, before turning his gaze on Jax. "I thought Jax was giving himself up to Patterson."

"Something happened." Chibs said, stepping back to watch Juice as Bobby explained the scene at Jax's house.

"Jesus Christ." Juice breathed, his gaze darting quickly to Jax, then away. Chibs eyes narrowed as the other man shifted from one foot to the other. He couldn't study Juice any longer as Happy and Rat brushed by, carrying a full-size mattress up the stairs.

"Jax." Bobby said quietly, waiting until the other man shifted his eyes to him. "Montez and West brought back some food and sheets for the bed. You should probably get some sleep, we'll watch the boys."

"I can't sleep." He responded simply, the flash in his eyes making it obvious that sleep would only bring nightmares of his wife's body laying on the floor in front of him.

"You should eat something at least." Bobby insisted.

"No." Jax answered, turning his gaze back to Abel.

The club spent most of the afternoon talking in low voices in the shop. Juice offered to go to Gemma's to tell her and Unser what had happened. Bobby nodded his agreement, and told Chibs that he'd better call Nero as well before everyone found out from the news. As the day went on Bobby noticed that Main Street was much busier than usual, it was obvious as people slowed in front of the shop that news was already spreading and they were coming to gawk, trying to see what the club would do. He seriously considered sending rat upstairs for the sheets to hang them across the windows so no one could see in, but decided against it. The boys needed normalcy around them, sheets hanging from store windows seemed to be pushing it.

Nero arrived at the shop within a hour of hearing the news. Pushing aside all his feelings about how Jax had been conducting business, and regretting his words to the younger man about karma, he strode into the room.

He slowed his pace as he made his way towards Jax. He exchanged hugs with the club members that he passed, only looking away from Jax to offer quiet condolences. He noticed Gemma's absence, worried about her safety.

"Juice went to tell her." Bobby said quietly from beside him.

Nero thanked him before continuing to Jax. Nero's heart broke at the sight of the other man with his sons. Nero's mind went back to two nights before, 'had it really only been two days?' he thought to himself as he stopped beside the booth. He noted the stiff set of Jax's shoulders, a broken man using every bit of strength he had to hold himself together. Nero crouched on the floor next to the booth and rested his hand on Jax's shoulder.

"I am so sorry my brother." He said quietly, squeezing Jax's shoulder. Nero let go as Jax acknowledged his words with a nod.

The sun was starting to set when Juice finally returned with Gemma and Unser in tow. Chibs frowned watching as the three crossed the street, surprised that it took so long for them to appear.

Gemma pushed through the door to the shop, stopping short when she noticed Nero sitting at the counter parallel to where Jax sat in the booth.

She steeled herself as his gaze met hers, dropping her eyes before he could note anything he shouldn't and then turned her gaze to her son.

"Oh Jackson." She said quietly, moving through the shop.

Unser and Juice had followed behind her, Juice remained separate from the group as Unser joined Bobby and Chibs.

"What the hell happened?" Unser asked quietly, guilt filling him as Bobby laid out the scene. Unser turned his gaze to where Gemma was kneeling next to the booth talking in low tones to Jax, his heart seizing as an awful thought made it's way through his head.

"You okay?" Chibs asked, reaching out to grab Unser by the arm as he swayed.

"Yea." He answered. "It's just terrible, what happened to Tara." He finished.

Chibs and Bobby remained silent, those words pretty much covered what they were all thinking.

"Jackson." Gemma was saying quietly as Unser was talking with Bobby and Chibs. "Baby look at me." She implored, reaching up to clasp Jax's cheek.

Jax flinched away, pulling his face away from his mothers. Clenching his teeth to keep his emotions in check he turned to look at her. His mother had a hunted look in her eyes, one he had rarely seen. If Jax had been able to think clearly he would have questioned why she looked hunted instead of devastated. As it was, all his thought was being used to hold himself together in front of his club and his boys. Tara was the only one he could truly be himself with, truly be vulnerable with, and she was gone.

"I'm so sorry about Tara." Jax fought down a sneer, everyone was so sorry about Tara now, when just yesterday half of them were willing to put her in the ground themselves. Jax stiffened at the dark thought, his gaze trailing around the room as if trying to imagine any of people who remained were capable of such a thing.

Gemma refrained from reaching out to hold Jax, already stung at his refusal to accept her comfort earlier. She looked over at her grandsons, her beautiful boys.

"I'll take them home with me tonight." She said quietly, coming to her feet and already reaching out to take the sleeping Thomas from Jax's arms.

"No!" Jax yelled, waking Thomas as he pulled back from his mother. Abel jumped in alarm, looking with wide eyes at his father. "Our boys are staying with me."

"Jax." Gemma said in a needling tone. "The clubhouse is no place for your sons, they should be at home, where things will be familiar."

"Their place is with me." Jax said simply.

Gemma looked like she was getting ready to burst into an argument when Nero tugged on her arm and pulled her away towards where the rest of the club stood.

"Gemma, it's best for him to be around the boys right now." Nero said quietly.

"He's in no state to take care of them." Gemma argued.

"We're all taking care of them." Tig interjected.

"We have a room set up upstairs, they can't go back to the house obviously and they'd never be alone." Bobby added.

"They wouldn't be alone at my house."

"Gemma." Chibs said in a comforting tone. "He needs the boys with him so he can focus on being a father right now, and not sink into the depths of realization that he is a widower."

While the others spoke on the far side of the room, Jax gathered up his sons and led them upstairs. He moved them into the makeshift bedroom, changing both into their pajamas and laying Thomas down in the pack in play.

Jax turned to the suitcases that Tara had packed and pulled out the books that were neatly stacked in the bottom. At the sight of the familiar book, Abel climbed onto the watching as his father moved towards him.

"Where's mommy?" He asked, mommy was the one who read that story.

Jax's heart stopped at his son's words, tears burned in his eyes. He set the book on the edge of the mattress, and pulled Abel into his arms as he sat down.

"Do you know what angels are Abel?" He asked quietly a few moments later having tried desperately to get himself under control.

Abel looked up at his father in question, then slowly nodded unusually grave.

"Angels watch over and protect us don't they? Isn't that what mommy said?" Jax asked, waiting for Abel to nod again.

"Sometimes, the world needs more angels to protect us." He paused. "God needed mommy to be an angel, so that she can watch over you and your brother."

Abel remained silent, staring up at his father.

"Mommy will watch you too?" He asked.

Jax choked out a sob, tears slipping free as he pulled Abel close and kissed him on the top of his head. "Yea, mommy is watching over me too."

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**Author's Note:** You guys! I'm am so shocked and thankful that so many of you have read the story and reviewed! It's amazing to see so many people who have the same feelings over the finale, how many of us want to see the same thing. I am pleasantly surprised that many of you have remembered my other fic. I hate that I'd left it unfinished, it was so difficult over the last couple of seasons to find the inspiration to continue. Hopefully this story will help to heal these wounds and then maybe I can reset and try to imagine happier times. Thank you all so much again!


	3. Chapter 2

It took three days for the coroner to release Tara's body to her family. Given the obvious cause of death, the coroner knew his job was to find any possible evidence of who committed the crime. He was sickened by the viciousness of the attack, at least half of the head wounds were post mortem, the continued assault evidence of the rage in the attack. By the end of the three days the coroner was exhausted by the exam. Not the exam itself, though completing exams on two people who seemed to only be trying to do good was never something easy, it was the constant interruption to his work. The DA stopped by the following morning to ensure that he would thoroughly examined both bodies, the deputy sheriff came by later that same day and asked for some time alone with his superior, and finally the hospital administrator, came through on the second day, having returned early from her vacation when the murders made the news, tears streaming down her face as she looked at the doctor. The coroner had stepped away from the autopsy table to give her some privacy, but couldn't help but over hear the words she spoke through her tears, crying about how she knew something like this would happen to the other woman.

By the time the morning that the mortuary was coming to collect the bodies arrived, the coroner wasn't surprised to find Jackson Teller sitting outside his morgue.

He stood outside the morgue for a moment, before offering the younger man a moment to come inside and say goodbye, but Jax silently shook his head, not wanting to imagine Tara in that sterile room and continued to stare ahead at the doors that separated the morgue from the hallway.

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Skeeter never really thought deeply about his job. He had his issues, quite a few of them, but he was never enough of a freak to get off on working with dead bodies, so to him, this was just a job, something to pay the bills. He wasn't even very surprised to get the call from the Sons of Anarchy to pick up a body, it seemed like he had become their go to guy for all things dead. But he had the shock of his life as he pushed the stretcher down through the lower levels of St. Thomas hospital so early in the morning that it was still dark and found Jax Teller waiting for him outside the morgue.

"Oh shit." He thought to himself, taking in Jax's haggard appearance and bloodshot eyes, noting the missing cut that had always seemed permanently attached to the members of the biker gang. He instantly knew that this pick up wouldn't be like any other. He brushed his sweaty palms on his pants, kicking himself for not watching the news more often as Jax got to his feet in front of him.

Jax simply nodded towards the silver doors, which swung open to reveal the coroner, who silently handed him the clipboard with the paperwork he needed to sign to for the transfer. Skeeter signed quickly, keeping his eyes averted from the two bodies on the tables, but from the quick look he caught as he had walked into the morgue he already understood why none other than the biker king himself had been sitting outside the morgue.

The coroner and Skeeter silently came to the agreement to forego the normal body bag, and simply moved the woman's body onto the stretcher only covered by the sheet.

"I'll take good care of her." He said quietly, meeting Jax's eyes as he wheeled the stretcher out of the morgue into the hallway. He was surprised when he heard Teller's soft footfalls a few steps behind him, silently following him down the hall.

Skeeter moved through the lower levels of the hospital, taking extra care to make sure not to bang the stretcher into any walls or doorways. Once outside, he locked the wheels of the stretcher and opened the back of the hearse. He gently collapsed the stretcher and gently loaded it inside. He never before felt the need to take such care, but with a surprisingly amount of self-preservation, knew he had to do so this time with the watchful eyes of a grieving husband on him. He wasn't even surprised that when as soon as he had the stretcher locked in place that Jax climbed into the back of the hearse, and crouched on the floor next to it. Skeeter closed the door behind him, the thought of denying the biker's leader never even occurring to him, before moving to the front of the car and beginning the journey back to the funeral home.

Skeeter drove silently through the town, tamping down on his need to burst out in inane conversation when he was nervous. Each time he checked the rearview mirror all he could see was Jax, his head bent and having reached under the sheet to pull out Tara's hand, now held her hand clasped within his own up to his check, his eyes closed.

When they arrived at the back of the funeral home, Skeeter cut the engine without a word. He got out of the car and loitered outside the back door, unsure of if he should open it up so he could bring the body inside, or if he should leave until Jax was ready.

Jax took the answer out of his hands as he opened the door and left the car on his own. Without a word he helped Skeeter pull out the stretcher and trailed behind like a ghost as Skeeter wheeled it inside.

"Umm." Skeeter started nervously. He needed to move the body from the stretcher to his table, but couldn't really do that in front of Jax, it could be awkward maneuvering a body when it was in rigor on your own. And fumbling around as he tried to do so, it just didn't feel right to do that in front of Jax. "If you want to wait upstairs we can discuss what kind of service you'd like, I just need to get her moved to the table." He finished in a rush.

Jax ignored him as he moved toward the stretcher, leaning forward to pick up the still figure and cradle her in his arms. Jax held Tara's body against his chest for a few moments, his eyes closed as he took a deep breath before laying her gently down onto the table.

Skeeter forced the automatic "thanks" down, knowing it'd be inappropriate, before moving to the door and holding it open for Jax. He turned away as Jax lingered, to give the other man privacy, but still out of the corner of his eye saw Jax press a kiss to his fingers before dragging them over Tara's cheek.

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**Author's Note:** Thank you guys again so much! I do want to apologize for the short chapters, they just seem to develop good stopping points, and I'd rather them be shorter and having a nice stopping point then combining them and having it not flow right. So thank you again, I'm so happy that you guys are reaching out and enjoying the story, we're all getting through this finale together.


	4. Chapter 3

It was still early when Jax returned to the shop. He walked straight through to the stairs that led to their clubhouse. He passed by the open room where the club met and continued down the hall to where one of the offices used to be. He leaned in to check on his sleeping sons. Thomas as on his back in the pack in play, sleeping peacefully, while Abel sprawled across the center of the mattress that the guys had brought in, obviously having no qualms of taking over as much space as possible after his father had left.

Jax returned downstairs quietly, not wanting to wake the club members who crashed at the shop, having decided that Jax couldn't be left alone. He brewed some coffee and sat down at the counter, not surprised when the aroma slowly brought the bleary eyed bikers out of hiding.

"Skeeter picked up Tara today." Jax said without turning, knowing Bobby and Chibs had come up behind him.

The two older men remained silent as they filled up coffee mugs. They took a seat on each side of Jax, both staring into the mugs before Bobby spoke. "We need to make arrangements."

Jax nodded in response, pulling some papers out of his pocket. Bobby accepted the offering, thumbing through the leaflets describing different options that the funeral home offered for the service.

Footsteps sounded above, two heavy and one light as they moved back and forth.

"He wants to know what I plan to do with Tara's body." Jax began a few minutes later. "If she'd want to be cremated or if we're going to bury her."

"What would Tara have wanted?" Chibs asked quietly.

Jax was silent for a moment. "I have no idea." He said, his voice breaking on the last word. "We never talked about it." He paused. "I always thought it would be me first, I wouldn't have cared what she decided to do." He inhaled a harsh breath. "It should have been me first."

Jax cleared his throat, wiping his hand across his eyes just as Happy came down the stairs with Thomas in his arms and Abel's arms wrapped around his neck as he rode piggyback.

Jax tried to smile at his sons, knew deep down that that was what a father did, they moved past their own pain for the sake of their sons, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get his muscles to complete the motion. Happy settled down with the boys at one of the tables as Tig and rat came through the front door.

Chucky trailed in behind them, his usual chatter replaced with solemn silence.

"Chucky, why don't you take the boys down to the diner for some breakfast." Tig said, passing the bottle that Chibs handed him to the other man.

"I accept that." Chucky replied seriously, reaching out for Abel's hand as Rat buckled Thomas into his carrier. Moments later he and the boys were out the door.

"I can't imagine her in the ground." Jax said breaking the silence as all eyes turned to him. "I don't want her to be cold and alone." He added brokenly.

"We can have her cremated, get a nice urn." Bobby said quickly.

But Jax was shaking his head. "But what about the boys? How do I explain to them that their mother is in the vase on the mantle? That all that's left of the woman who loved them, who fought for them is little enough to fit in something like that?"

"You should bury her Jackie." Chibs said quietly. "Give yourself and the boys someplace to go and visit her."

"Yea." Jax agreed. "Mahogany." He added looking to Bobby. "I want a mahogany casket for her, something warm and soft."

* * *

Once all the club members were in the shop, Bobby nodded his head to the stairs, and the club trailed up one by one. As much as he hated it, Bobby took his place at the head of the table, trailing his hand over the gavel. He hadn't had the chance to try to offer it back to Jax, knew that it wasn't the right time. Chibs sat to his left, Happy at his right, the rest of the club filing in, Jax bringing up the rear before sitting at the opposite end of the table.

"The coroner released Tara's body yesterday, and Skeeter picked her up today." Bobby started, making sure everyone was on the same page, his gaze on Jax. The younger man's head was down, giving no sign he had heard Bobby's words.

"I want everyone in town for this, all the charters here, supporting Jax." Bobby continued sternly. As he gave out orders for reaching out to different charters Jax spoke up.

"No."

Conversation stopped as the others looked to him in confusion. Jax lifted his head and Bobby felt a shudder of dread pass through him at the darkness in Jax's eyes.

"Tara wanted away from the club. She wanted our boys away from this life." Jax's eyes gleamed with a sheen of tears. "I know we brought this,_ I_ brought this on her. I won't have her funeral be about the Sons. It's about her, she was a wife, a mother, a surgeon, not a club member." He took a breath, trying to push down his emotions. "Let the other charters know, I appreciate that they would want to show their support, and having them here would mean a lot to me and my family, but I don't want them here representing the Sons. I don't want any of this history, any of the violence that those cuts ended up representing to her, at Tara's service."

* * *

**Author's Note:** It's been almost a week and I'm still struggling with this. I mean I think so many of us realized that a happy ending wasn't really in the cards, but for me at least, I figured Tara would make it through, I mean who takes a mother away from her children? And then the brutality of the attack, that was like salt on the wound. I think I've moved on from grief to just anger or really disappointment now. I just wanted to thank you all for all the supportive words as they really encourage me to keep going with this story and give our couple at least a respectful goodbye and not having the whole thing glossed over in some time lapse between seasons.


	5. Chapter 4

Jax left the shop early the morning of Tara's wake, before any of the guys had woken up. The shop was overflowing with people, it wasn't as big as the clubhouse had been at Teller-Morrow and members of the other charters had arrived in Charming in droves over the last couple of days, all wanting to support Redwood Original's leader.

When Jury arrived he had pulled Jax into another room, and simply pulled the younger man into his arms. He knew "I'm sorry" would be too trite, to over-used to give Jax any kind of comfort at this point. Instead, he simply offered his presence, his shoulder if it was needed. Jax had appreciated the gesture and he was grateful for the outpouring of support from the club and all it's charters.

Jax got into his truck and drove to the funeral home. He and Skeeter had spoken throughout the week to make sure everything would be perfect for Tara. He had decided to have a wake for her, so the club and her co-workers from the hospital could say goodbye. Then he was going to have her and the casket, with any items he wished to remain with her, cremated and interred in the cemetery near where Opie and Donna lay. Jax hoped Tara would approve of his decision, it seemed the best compromise, she wouldn't be in the ground, but he and the boys would still have somewhere to go see her.

Jax had sent Rat back to the house the day before with a list of items to get for the funeral. He needed fresh clothes, including the two nice button down shirts that Tara had bought him that he never wore, her stethoscope from her bag and some pictures of him and Tara, the boys, and all four of them together.

He wore one of the shirts today, underneath the blue and white flannel shirt that Tara loved, on the seat next to him lay his duffel bag with the items he had Rat get and a picture Abel had drawn for Tara.

Skeeter greeted Jax at the door to the funeral home, he led Jax into the first room on the right where Tara's wake would be held. Tara's body was already at the front of the room, in the casket. Jax had Bobby bring over the dress Tara wore to Opie and Lyla's wedding, it represented happier times, when they were still basking in their own engagement when the hope for their future together, a future of freedom for their boys was still bright.

They put one of Tara's beige jackets on her as well as Jax didn't want her arms to be bare. Jax kneeled down on the bench that was placed in front of Tara's casket and barely noted the door closing softly behind him. He had long ago what it was like to pray, couldn't remember the right words, and at this point figured God wasn't going to listen to him anyway. Instead Jax spoke to Tara.

"The boys are coming by later today, before everyone else." Jax started. "I still don't know if I should bring them in, if that's what you would've done, but I want them to be able to say goodbye."

"I have some things for you here." He continued reaching down to open the duffel bag. "Some pictures of us and the boys, your stethoscope." Jax said pulling out each item. "I'm so proud of you Tara, my wife, a surgeon." He said offering a small smile at the memory of when he first found out that not only was Tara back, but that she achieved what she set out to do, become a doctor. He placed the items gently in the casket, laying the stethoscope at her side, and placing of the pictures, the pictures of them as a family in her hands. He arranged the rest of the pictures around her, tucking one of the two of them, and one of her and the boys underneath her jacket, next to her heart.

He folded up Abel's picture and placed it in his pocket before fiddling with the items he had just placed, trying to fight a losing battle against tears at the thought of today being the last day he'd see his beautiful wife.

"I'm so sorry Tara. I'm so sorry." He burst out. "I thought you coming back was a sign to me, a chance to make things better." He paused. "Instead I let those things destroy us." He clasped his hand over hers. "I don't know how I'm going to do this without you. Opie, he told me how strong you were while I was gone, how you took care of our boys, I want to do that for you, take care of boys the way you want me to, but I don't know how, how am I supposed to do what's right without you?" He cried, tears dropping onto Tara's hand. Jax angrily wiped his eyes so more wouldn't fall on Tara then rubbed her hand until the drops evaporated.

Jax stepped back from the bench and looked around the room. He noted the cross of flowers sent by his mother, the baskets of carnations sent by her coworkers at St. Thomas and the sprays from the club. Jax noted the vase of red roses and lilies that he had ordered to be from the boys and the white orchid in a planter from himself. He picked up both and moved them to the table next to the casket where Skeeter had arranged some of the framed photos Bobby had given him when he brought the dress over. Jax pulled out one of the lilies and broke off the stem moving back to Tara. He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling it back slightly so he could slide the lily behind her ear.

* * *

Jax remained with Tara the rest of the morning, only moving from his spot in the front row of seats when Gemma appeared. She moved silently through the room, noting the layout of the arrangements to make sure they met her satisfaction as Jax didn't want anyone but himself being involved in the planning.

She laid her hand on Jax's shoulder before continuing forward to the casket. Gemma knelt down and pressed her hands together as in prayer. Jax watched silently from behind her as Gemma said a few words too low from him to hear and then let out a choked sob. He stood up and slowly walked forward, pulling her to her feet and embracing her Gemma began to cry harder as Jax held her for a moment before pulling away.

"Damn it. Now I have to fix my makeup." She said as if trying to lighten the tone. Jax frowned, not happy with her words, but familiar enough with his mother to know this is what she did.

"Bobby and Chibs are outside with the boys." She said, turning her head towards the door.

"Okay." Jax said quietly, turning back to look at Tara before leading the way out of the room. He tried to offer an encouraging smile when he saw his sons, but knew it fell flat. Abel was holding Bobby's hand, his eyes wide as he looked around the unfamiliar space. Thomas was sleeping peacefully in Chibs' arms as Jax reached out to take his son.

He held Thomas against his chest as he crouched down to Abel's level.

"Abel. Remember how I told you mommy was an angel now?" He asked quietly, waiting for Abel's nod. "Inside that room, mommy is laying on a bed, and it looks like she's sleeping." Abel turned his head to look at the closed doors.

"But mommy's really with the angels. She can't wake up from this sleep, she's only in there because we can't be angels with her so we need to say goodbye to her before she can finish becoming one. Do you understand Abel?"

"Mommy is going to watch us." Abel simply said.

"Yes." Jax said with a painful smile. "Mommy is watching over us." He took his son's hand. "I brought the picture you drew for mommy, do you want to put it in the bed with her so she can have it with her?"

Abel nodded slowly. Jax shifted Thomas in his arms so he could pull out the drawing. He handed it to Abel before taking his hand and leading him to the other room. Jax slowly guided Abel to the front of the room, watching his son as they moved forward, frowning as Abel slowed with his eyes wide.

"You don't have to go up there if you don't want to Abel." Jax said quietly, squeezing Abel's hand.

Abel shook his head and took another step forward. When they reached the front of the room, Jax helped his son to stand on the bench so he could see into the casket.

Abel looked at his mother, frowning when she didn't open her eyes and smile at him. He looked at his father, the question in his eyes.

"Remember she's an angel, give her your drawing." Jax said tightening his grip on Abel as his son stepped up on his tiptoes to drop the picture into the casket.

Jax kneeled down next to him and pulled his son tight against his chest.

"It's time to say goodbye to mommy."

"Bye mommy." Abel said with a wave, not understanding why daddy was crying.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So I made myself ill writing about Gemma crying over Tara. But I'm trying to remain true to the characters as they've been presented to us in the show, and we all are well aware that Gemma will keep up appearances. Including crying over the loss of her daughter in-law. And that being said, I'm going to do and take something for my nausea. Hope you all enjoy the chapter and thank you again so much for the reviews, I'm beyond words at the support!


	6. Chapter 5

After Chucky arrived to pay his respects and was sent back to the shop with Brooke to watch the boys, the rest of the club began to arrive at the funeral home.

Jax sat at the front of the room, his mother at his side with Chibs and Bobby sitting in the row behind them. Tig, Happy, and Rat went up to the casket together, each standing silently for a moment. Rat mouthed a few words, having felt relatively close to the doctor as he was usually the one in charge of keeping her safe. He tried not to dwell on how he felt like he had failed. Tig quietly thanked Tara for always coming through when the club needed the doc to come in and patch one of them up. He thought back to when Tara had come to patch him up at Gemma's fathers house and how he had glimpse of the Tara that he remembered from when she was a teen. "Rest well doc". He finally said simply, reaching out to give her hand a squeeze.

Happy pressed a hand against the casket, tears rolling down his eyes, he didn't care what anyone thought about the sergeant at arms showing so much emotion, he couldn't help himself, there were two kids that had just lost their mother.

Each of the three men worked their way over to Jax and Gemma.

"I'm so sorry mother." Tig said quietly, giving Gemma a hug and kiss on the cheek. Happy and Rat offered their condolences and hugs to her as well, as Tig moved on to Jax. Tig pulled Jax into a hug, holding him tight.

"She loved you Jax." Tig said as they pulled apart. He squeezed Jax's shoulder as the other man nodded.

Jury went up to the casket ahead of the members of his charter. He knelt down for a moment, saying a short prayer for peace for the mother and strength for the husband and children left behind. He stared at her, trying to remember the girl from when he would stop by and visit Redwood in years past. His boys stepped up the casket behind him as he continued on to Jax and Gemma offering each a hug and words of comfort.

This continued on, members from each charter, all without their cuts as requested, moved up to the casket to pay respects and then stopped by Jax and Gemma.

Juice trailed up to the casket alone. He knelt in front of it silently, staring straight ahead, his eyes unseeing, his emotions a riot. Finally he stood up, clapped a hand on the casket before moving to Jax and Gemma. While Jax was speaking with Tacoma's president, Juice hugged Gemma and the two shared a look before Juice moved on to Jax. He hesitated before reaching out to hug the other man, the harsh words and betrayal still between them if buried away for the moment.

Nero appeared at the back of the room, Lyla at his side, followed by a couple of his Byzlat crew, he moved to the front of the room, not meeting the eyes of anyone, solely focused on the figure ahead of him. He knelt down in front of her, his mind running with the words that she had spat out about Clay, her hand, all the horrible things that had happened to people involved with the sons. He thought about his words of karma to Jax, how unfair it was of the universe to have it come to this. He felt the wetness of tears on his cheeks, it wasn't right, she was a mother, just trying to do the right thing for her sons, it shouldn't have ended like this for her.

Lyla cried beside him, the pain of Opie's death still fresh in her mind. She and Tara were never close, had hateful exchanges, but they had eventually found common ground, and Lyla respected the other woman. She cried for Tara, she cried for her sons, and she cried for Jax, who had not only buried his best friend, but is now burying his heart.

Nero pressed a kiss to his fingers and laid his hand on the side of the casket, his face sad but respectful as he moved to the side and pulled Gemma into his arms.

"I'm sorry mama." He said burying his face in her hair.

"I know." Gemma said holding him tight against her.

"I'm so sorry Jax." Lyla said hugging Jax. "If you need anything, just let me know, anything I can do."

"Thank you." Jax replied.

Nero came to Jax next, he reached out and rested his hands on Jax's shoulders. Both men's eyes glittered with tears, Jax's unshed, Neros still moving down his cheeks from when he was at the casket. He squeezed Jax's shoulders, nodding at him, knowing no words were needed. Nero released Jax and followed Lyla to the back of the room where they took a seat.

Margaret Murphy arrived with some nurses from the hospital. They other women looked nervous at the sign of so many unfamiliar people in the room, knowing they were mostly bikers even without their cuts. Margaret had no such qualms, grief made her strong. Tears streamed down her face as she moved to the front of the room, she stood in front of Tara's casket, Tara's nameplate from her office door clutched in her hand.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." She cried, she reached out to clasp Tara's hand. "I'll do whatever I can for your boys, I promise. I'll do everything you asked." Taking a deep breath for strength she turned around and moved to the first row of chairs.

"You did this!" She hissed out looking from Gemma to Jax then back again, hating the people who were the cause of every aspect of Tara's downfall. The people whose connections, whose secrets ruined Tara's career, whose love Tara had felt the need to risk everything to keep, the people whose own selfishness made them refuse to see the damage their lives did, who made Tara so desperate to free her sons that she would sink to their levels to try to escape.

"She deserved better than this!" Margaret said with a sob as she shoved the nameplate in her hand at Jax.

Jax recoiled at the vehemence in her tone, her words just adding to the guilt he already piled on himself. Margaret was quickly surrounded by coworkers who guided her out of the room before Jax or anyone else could react.

Jax looked down at the nameplate in his hand the "Dr. Tara Knowles" scrawled across it and felt shame. He let club business get in the way of his family. Tara hadn't taken his name legally so she could volunteer at the prison, the action that started all this. It hadn't even occurred to him to get a nameplate, something that would show her new name, show the world that she was his wife.

Unser showed up to the wake as other charters began to leave for the evening. He stopped a few feet in front of Tara's casket, trying to hold in tears.

"I'm so sorry honey." He said simply. His mind had been going a mile a minute since he had heard of Tara's murder. He knew in his gut who had done it. And it was his fault. He gave her the false accusation, he knew she wasn't stable and he put that thought in her head. And he was the one she came back to, utterly broken that same night. Unser had no proof, just his gut and he couldn't betray the woman he had loved from afar for so many years over that.

He exchanged hugs with Gemma, a word with Jax and the rest of his crew before taking a seat in the back and watching Chibs and Bobby bring up the rear of the last couple of people who were paying their respects.

Bobby went first, said a prayer in low tones, telling Tara how the club loved her, how thankful they were for everything she had done and promised to look after Jax and their boys.

Chibs moved silently behind Bobby, feeling foolish with tears streaming down his cheeks as he gazed at the casket. It just wasn't right. He reminded Tara was she was still a punk teen trailing around the clubhouse with Jax. He remembered how broken Jax was after she left and how ten years later he seemed to come back to life when she returned. Now he saw an even greater darkness in Jax, knowing that Tara no longer inhabited this world, no longer breathed, no longer laughed, or loved, it broke Jax. They found each other again, after so long, and their time together was brutally short. He reached out to clasp Tara's hand, before dropping a silver rosary into the casket with her.

He returned to Jax, offering another hug as the room began to clear out.

"We'll wait outside brother." Bobby said quietly, ushering Gemma passed him.

"Thanks." Jax replied his eyes on the casket.

Once the room was empty Jax slowly made his way back up to the casket. He moved the bench aside and stood next to Tara. He gazed down at her face, so familiar let so different in it's stillness. None of the spark that made Tara, Tara was there.

Part of him never wanted to leave this room, it was unreasonable but that part of him thought if he refused to leave than Skeeter couldn't take Tara away and this wouldn't really be the last time he saw his wife, touched her. He laid his hand across hers, hating how cool she felt to his touch, his warm loving wife, who fought for him, fought for their boys, she was gone.

He felt the tears roll down his face, his vision blurring as he moved his hands from hers and stroked her cheek, her full lips.

"I will always love you." He said quietly, leaning down for a final kiss.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thank you guys again! I'm so amazed by the feedback! I was worried that having Jax bring Abel and Thomas to where they had Tara laid out would be too much, I don't have kids, so I don't know what the proper procedure is in this kind of situation, if there even is one. Jax just seemed like the type to want his kids to have the chance to say goodbye, even if they didn't really understand.


	7. Chapter 6

It was exactly one week after her murder that Tara Knowles-Teller was laid to rest.

The full strength of Sons of Anarchy and all it's charters was present. Friends of the club, business associates and coworkers also appeared for the funeral.

Oswald arrived with a bouquet of flowers in hand that he placed next to the stand that the urn sat on. He was followed moments later by Jacob Hale, who offered his condolences to the widower and his family.

The two men took seats at the back of the tent, trying not to show their discomfort at being surrounded by so many people on the other side of the law. Rosen and Lowen also attended, Lowen with tears in her eyes as she looked at the pictures on the stand then back and Jax and his sons.

Many of the same people from the night before returned to the front to offer last words to Tara and whatever they could to Jax. Jax was seated at the front, Abel at his side with a paper and some crayons and Thomas in his carrier on Jax's other side.

A low murmur moved through the crowd causing Jax to turn to look towards the back of the tent as Marcus Alvarez strode in with two of his men. He moved purposely to Jax, stopping and holding out a hand.

"We're only here to pay our respects. The doctor did a good thing for me. It's only right." He said quietly, shaking Jax's hand. Jax nodded his permission, dropping back into his seat as Marcus continued to where the urn was. Bobby nodded his approval at the men's appearance without cuts, is surprise the at gesture answered when he noted Nero in the back of the room, holding three of the Mayans cuts in his hand.

Once everyone was seated Chibs stepped up to the front and stood next to the urn. Jax had asked him to say a few words, it seemed the right thing to do as Chibs was the one who spoke up for them at their wedding.

"Jax and Tara, I remember when they were just kids, you'd never hear one name without the other. Especially if you were talking about them being in trouble." He looked at Jax. "But I never saw two kids so in love, so sure in each other and their future. And while that got derailed for a while, it led to both of you growing and becoming what you were meant to become. And like true soul mates, you found each other again. I'm sorry you didn't have forever together, that your time was so short, but Jackie, on those days you miss her so much that you don't think you can go on, remember, Tara left part herself with you, it's in those two boys. Watch Abel grow, strong because of Tara, see her smile in Thomas. Know that she loved you and the family you built together so much."

Chibs wiped at his eyes and stepped down. Jax stood and Chibs pulled him into his arms, thanking him for those words.

Jax stayed behind as the mourners began pulling away. He thanked everyone who came up to him, his gaze more often than not on the urn and pictures that sat in front of him. Once everyone was gone, he walked up front, laying his hand on the stand where the urn sat. His other hand reached under the collar of his shirt, pulling on the silver chain with it's bullet that rested just above his heart. The bullet was now joined by Tara's engagement and wedding rings, which Jax lifted to his lips in silent farewell as he ran his hand over the urn.

* * *

Two weeks after Tara's funeral Jax was surprised to get a call from Margaret Murphy asking him to meet her at the hospital the next afternoon.

Margaret had asked Jax to bring the boys with him when they met, she wished to spend some time, so before Jax was due to meet Margaret he took the boys to the cemetery with him to see Tara. The sod had already been laid over the disturbed dirt and her tombstone was in place. Jax requested a double tombstone, half was already inscribed with Tara's name, her dates of birth and death, and underneath "Beloved wife and mother". The other side was blank, waiting for Jax's name and information to complete the stone. Across the middle of the stone was the statement "One day we will meet again". He met with Lowen the week before, who despite her own discomfort in his presence accepted the letter Jax gave her with detailed instructions on how he wished to be cremated and his ashes and Tara's combined and buried.

"Let's give mommy your picture Abel." Jax said quietly, adjusting Thomas in his arms so he could crouch down and help Abel slide the picture under the corner of Tara's stone.

Jax stood with his sons at the base of Tara's grave, he held Abel's hand as he told her how the boys were doing, how they were still staying in the shop until he could get things in order to sell the house, that she had made the house a home, and he couldn't stay there without her. Jax told her how much he missed her, how Abel told him his wasn't as good as mommy when he read stories, but he promised to get better.

"I promise Tara, I'll be back next week, get you some new flowers to brighten the place up."

"Blow mommy a kiss goodbye Abel." Jax said, smiling when his son smacked his hands against his lips with a loud kissing sound and threw it towards Tara's grave.

* * *

Jax was surprised that when he arrived at the hospital with the boys in tow, Margaret Murphy was waiting outside the main entry for them. She smiled at the boys, kneeling down to give Abel a hug.

"I'd like to bring them to the daycare for a little while, everyone has been wanting to see them." She said gesturing for Jax to go ahead of her into the hospital. Jax nodded his agreement, leading the way down the familiar halls to the daycare. He fought the urge to go passed Tara's office, to see if they had already given it to someone else.

As they reached the doors to the daycare, Abel took off in a run to greet his teacher, she leaned down to give him a big hug, exclaiming how big he had gotten. One of the assistants came over and carefully took Thomas from Jax. Jax and Margaret stood at the door watching the boys for a moment.

"About Tara's service." Margaret began, but Jax waved her off.

"It was a hard day." He said simply.

Margaret nodded and returned to watching Abel at the table a paper and crayon already in hand, laughing at something the teacher said.

"This is the most normal I've seen them since it happened." Jax said as if to himself.

Margaret bit her lip, fighting down the urge to remind Jax that of course the daycare seemed normal to them, it was where they went with their mother everyday she worked.

"Tara left some things with me." Margaret said instead, gesturing for Jax to follow her. She led him through the hospital to her office, continuing ahead of him to her desk. She pulled out a key and unlocked the bottom drawer to her desk. She pulled out a stack of papers and a disc. She leaned down to put the disc into the computer tower and gestured for Jax to take a seat behind her desk.

"I'll give you some time."

"Thank you." Jax replied quietly dropping into the chair, his eyes intent on the screen and the slim figure that appeared on it.

Margaret moved to the door, her eyes on the Jax as she choked back a sob when Tara's voice drifted out from the speakers.

* * *

"Jax." Tara said with a misty smile. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry that Margaret had to give this to you to watch. I hoped it would never come to this, that we would finally manage to find our way out of this endless cycle."

Jax shifted closer, as if he could climb inside the monitor and be there with Tara. He drank in everything about his wife, her hair, her eyes, the color of her skin. He noted her clothes, the sling she wore for her hand, trying to figure out when this was taken, but deciding it didn't matter. It only mattered that he still had a piece of her to hold on to.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the letters earlier baby, I wanted to spare you that pain if I could, but after everything that's happened," she continued, gesturing to sling, "I have to make sure that you know the truth."

She took a breath.

"Your mother if she hasn't already will give you these letters, she'll tell you that Clay killed your father. And she won't be lying. She'll tell you that Clay found out I had these letters, that I was looking into your father's death, she'll tell you that this damage is on him."

Tara leaned forward in the chair, her eyes serious.

"But she's not going to give you all the letters. I know your mother Jax. She loves you, and she loves the club. She'll stop at nothing to protect what she loves. That love baby, it's poison, she knew what Clay was going to do to your father, she gave her approval for him to be killed."

Jax sat back in his chair, running his hand over his mouth in shock.

"Gemma knew I had the letters, she searched my office for them, asked me to tell her where I hid them and I did. But I made another copy, and gave them to Margaret to hold on to in case something happened. You can trust her Jax, she's been a good friend who only has my best interests at heart."

Tara sat back in her chair.

"Read the letters Jax, all of them and finally know the truth. And whatever you think you have to do, then do it, but don't ever forget what you promised. No matter what happens, make sure you get our boys out of this poisonous town." She said, a tremble in her voice. "Because if you're watching this, then I can't do it. So I need you to be the strong one, I need you to do the right thing for our family."

Tara clasped her hand to her face as a sob broke out.

"I love you so much Jax. Even after everything I'm not sorry I came back because it gave me two beautiful sons. I hate that I won't see them grow up, that I won't be able to watch them become good men. Promise me you'll guide them on that path, promise me you'll tell them how much I love them."

"I love you baby. I'm sorry we didn't get our fairytale." She said pressing a kiss to her hand and reaching out to press it against the camera, before the screen went black.

Jax jumped up from the chair, reaching out and shoving the monitor off the desk, his body wracked with pain and anger coursing through him. He slid down the side of the desk, a sick feeling moving through him, his face in his hands as his body was wracked with sobs.

"Jax?" Came the hesitant voice above him.

Jax lifted red-rimmed eyes and noted Margaret standing above him. Her gaze moved around the room, falling silently on the broken monitor that lay on it's side on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Jax said, guilt making it's presence known in the whirlwind of emotions that still coursed through him.

"It's fine." Margaret replied waving it off. She moved around the side of the desk, ejecting the disc from the tower and gathering up the papers from the desk. She walked back around as Jax pulled himself to his feet and handed him the packet and the disc.

Jax accepted the offering, his fists clenching the paper, waiting while Margaret stared at him as if she wanted to say something.

"What are you going to do?" She asked, worried by the dark look that passed across his face.

"What Tara wants me to do.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well guys, we managed to make it through Tara's funeral, it's not easy imagining that the couple we all have loved, has been reduced to this, just words exchanged at a gravesite. That being said, I'm throwing something out to you all. This is where I initially planned on stopping the story, like I said it was mostly just to make sure we got something for Tara, a way to say goodbye. However, I am open to continuing it (it may take me a week or so to figure out the storyline and get some chapters written before posting). So I'm leaving it up to you... continue, or leave it as is?


End file.
